Another Week at Sea with Dissidents and Freedom Fighters
The Mark Steyn Cruise 2024
As in July 2023 (reported here), thanks to my daughters offering to look after my wife, I was again happy to be a paying guest on the Mark Steyn cruise. This time it was a Caribbean cruise leaving Fort Lauderdale Florida on 24 February, returning there on 2 March.
Mark had only just got through his exhausting (and ultimately losing) trial in Washington DC against ‘climate scientist’ Michael Mann; coupled with him suffering a seemingly never ending sequence of heart attacks, Mark was in a surprisingly upbeat mood. Although still confined to a wheelchair and with more grey hair, he spoke throughout the week with greater strength than on the July cruise and was generally much more of a presence. The cruise was a great success and I thoroughly enjoyed it, meeting new and old friends.
There were a number of guest speakers who were on the 2023 cruise: Leilani Dowding (dissident campaigner and regular contributor on the Mark Steyn show), Andrew Lawton (Canadian radio broadcaster), Michelle Bachmann (former member of US Congress who was a candidate for the Republican Part Presidential nomination in 2012) and Tal Bachmann (singer, songwriter and son of Randy Bachman of Bachman Turner Overdrive). Other speakers who had been on previous Mark Steyn cruises (but who I hadn’t met) were Conrad Black (British peer and former publisher of several major newspapers) and the journalists/filmakers pairing of Ann McElhinney and Phelim McAteer who had so brilliantly covered Mark’s recent trial. There was also a new star - the 21-year-old columnist and broadcaster Samantha Smith who has appeared on Mark’s show.
All the guest speakers were involved in at least one of the 5 panel sessions which typically lasted about 90 minutes including a Q&A. As the details of these sessions have been covered at https://www.steynonline.com I will focus more on the social aspects and my personal perspectives. For those interested there are also some travel tips about Fort Lauderdale and cruising generally.
Cruise Day -3 (Wednesday 21 Feb)
Flew out from Heathrow with British Airways having chosen the same afternoon flight as Lee and Yvonne Drury who I had met on last year’s cruise. They were in Premium Economy while I was slumming it in Economy. However (travel tip 1), don’t pay a lot extra for BA Premium Economy: we got exactly the same food and I’m not sure the seats were any bigger. I even got off the plane before them at Miami. And, as Yvonne pointed out after reading a draft of this report, the notion that Lee got the bonus of a massage (which I believed) was just him winding me up because I was in economy.
We arrived at Miami airport on time, but shortly after the seatbelt signs were turned off and everybody got up, we were instructed to get back into our seats. Without any information other that they were “dealing with an administrative problem” we had to remain seated for a further 40 minutes. When we were eventually allowed to leave, a staff member told me that the delay was caused by a disruptive passenger in first class and they had to wait for the police to arrive. This must have caused a knock-on effect because a fellow Steyn cruiser told me later in the week that they arrived shortly after us and were held on their plane for 90 minutes.
Travel tip 2: do not expect to be able to even buy a bottle of water at Arrivals in Miami airport. There was nothing there. So, we headed straight for a cab and travel tip 3: you must negotiate a price to Fort Lauderdale and not allow it to go on the meter as we did. A fellow Brit who I met later in the hotel negotiated a price of $70 for the 20-mile trip. We ended up paying $180 for a quite bizarre trip. Because I was staying in a different hotel (The Hilton Marina) to Lee and Yvonne (The Snooze, which had no vacancies when I tried to book) we asked the cab driver to go first to the hotel nearest. The driver said it made no difference, so I magnanimously agreed for Lee and Yvonne to be dropped off first as there were two of them. But it turned out he had no idea where the hotels were and even asked us to enter the postcode on our own phone travel apps (others travellers told us this was common). Anyway, with the meter on $125 I noticed that we were passing the Hilton Marina. But he would not stop. The Snooze is about 3 miles further on right on the beach in the heart of the night-life area. By the time he had dropped off Lee and Yvonne the meter was up to $140 and, because of traffic going back it was $180 (and over 30 minutes after we had first passed it) when we finally reached the Hilton.
It was now pretty late and I was very tired after all the travel and delays, but fortunately I had already checked in online, so assumed there would not be any delay getting to my room. But, travel tip 4, the online check-in is a waste of time; you still have to queue at Reception and, because the Hilton Marina seemed to be always chronically understaffed, I waited another 15 minutes before getting my room key.
Cruise Day -2 (Thursday 22 Feb)
As the Hilton was providing a daily $25 discount on anything spent in the hotel I decided to have breakfast there (it cost just under $40 when taxes were added). It was a great buffet and well worth the $15…. but, travel tip 5: if you are offered such a discount be sure to check that they actually honour it. Because of the inevitable queue at reception (especially the morning when we left for the cruise) I checked out online and only after they emailed the receipt did I find out that I had not received the discount for any of the 3 days I stayed. I emailed a complaint about this (and also about other stuff I tell you below) and have still received no reply.
Anyway, after a swim at the pool (which, along with the breakfasts, was the best thing about the hotel) I took the shuttle bus down to the beach to meet up with Lee and Yvonne.
This short clip gives an indication of the vibe at the beach in the afternoon
The shuttle bus left at 3:30pm to go back to the Hilton. The bus stop is actually at the end of the beach closest to the Hilton so it’s only about 2 miles away. But because of the traffic we didn’t get back to the hotel until nearly 5:00pm. Travel tip 6: avoid driving anywhere in Fort Lauderdale during ‘rush hour’.
So, I got back to my room about 5:00pm hoping to take a nap and have a shower before dinner. But it had not been cleaned, and there were no fresh towels!! Now, the three nights accommodation only at this hotel (which I had booked 6 weeks in advance) cost just under $1200 (see bill below) and for that I would at least expect some fresh dry towels once a day. In case you think I was mad to pay that, all hotels in Fort Lauderdale are ridiculously expensive at this time of year because of the number of cruises leaving from there, but the biggest mark-up is on a Friday night stay because most cruises leave on Saturday. The Friday night alone cost $488 including resort charge and taxes.
Anyway, by now Mark Steyn cruiser Jennifer Clark (who I had met last year) arrived at the Hotel and we went out for an excellent Indian meal. Travel tip 7: (can’t remember it’s name) but the Indian Restaurant in the Mall opposite the Renaissance Hotel is well worth a visit.
Cruise Day -1 (Friday 23 Feb)
Generally spent relaxing by the pool, but we planned an early dinner with Leilani Dowding who had now arrived to stay at the Renaissance Hotel. This is where Mark Steyn and the other guest speakers were staying. Again, my room had still not been done by the time I left the hotel at about 5.45pm - I informed reception of this.
We had a very nice meal with Leilani at a Thai restaurant and then went back to the Renaissance to find Mark and most of his team and speakers having a meal.
Jennifer and I went back to the Hilton hoping to get a drink there but discovered that this massive hotel has no bar other than in the one restaurant (where we got breakfast). Moreover, as only diners are allowed at the tables, there is nowhere to sit even if you manage to get a drink (not easy because of the shortage of staff). We sat at an empty table outside, but they told us we had to move! Anyway, I finally went to my room at 10.00pm to find … the room had still not been made up!!! I went to reception to tell them, saying that I wanted to go straight to bed and so just needed some clean dry towels. They said they would send them straight to my room now. Needless to say, the towels never came. Travel tip 8: do not stay at the Hilton Marina unless you pay less than half what I did.
Cruise Day 1 (Saturday 24 Feb) At sea
Although Fort Lauderdale Port is less than half a mile from the Hilton Marina, the Port is massive - the third largest in the world. So, even by taxi it took over 20 minutes to get to our ship, the New Amsterdam.
When we got on board we were invited to the usual excellent buffet lunch in the Lido restaurant while our baggage was taken to the rooms. At 3.00pm the ship set sail. You get a good sense of the feel of excitement as the ship left the port in this short video clip:
The ship had been completely booked up for weeks (I believe I might have got the very last room when I booked in mid January). In total there were 2,200 passengers of whom 200 were paying guests in the Mark Steyn group. I know a couple of people who had tried to book later and there was nothing available.
In the evening pre-dinner there was a reception for the Mark Steyn cruisers in the Crow’s Nest lounge (which we essentially requisitioned for the rest of the trip for all post dinner drink sessions as well as ‘games’ sessions during the day).
Each night people were assigned to a different table for dinner. On either 2 or 3 of the nights the paying guests would be on a table with one of the speakers/hosts. I got to be on a table with Ann and Phelim (Monday), Samantha Smith (Tuesday), and Melissa Howes (Thursday).
For people who haven’t been on a cruise before it’s important to note that (except for some basic juices and non-speciality tea/coffee) drinks are not included, so it’s worth buying an all-inclusive package that includes drinks, WiFi and some extras. Travel tip 9: the Holland America $350 all-inclusive package is worth buying because the WiFi alone for a single device is about $30 a day and you get up to 14 drinks a day as well as $100 for excursions and one meal in one of the ‘special restaurants’.
Cruise Day 2 (Sunday 25 Feb) Half Moon Cay, Bahamas
Before people who wanted to got off the ship there was the first Mark Steyn show at 9.00am with guests Leilani, Tal and Samantha. The theme was ‘new identities’, so topics like transgenderism were discussed. Leilani was pleased to get her only appearance on stage over and done with right at the start, but she gave such an impressive performance that I warned her she’d be asked back again (she wasn’t, which was great for her but a shame for everybody else!).
The cruise companies have an amazing private beach in Half Moon Cay but you have to get a tender boat to get there which can be a pain as there can be quite a lot of waiting around (I actually waited over 50 minutes for a return boat because I left fairly early and, having just missed a boat back, they were only running one tender boat back and forth at that time). Travel tip 10: if the port requires a tender boat to get ashore allow about an hour each way getting to and from your ship to include the waiting, boarding, travel and unboarding time. Personally, I find this by far and away the most annoying aspect of any cruise.
Sunday night was a formal dinner night (hence the bow tie etc). Amazingly a fellow Steyner - John Greaves - introduced himself to me. He is the nephew of my all time favourite Spurs footballer Jimmy Greaves and, although now living in America, he is still a Spurs fan himself (we arranged to meet up at a game when he is over in the UK at the end of March).
Since Mark Steyn claims that I always like to be photographed with his attractive young female speakers, I made sure I didn’t disappoint him especially as Leilani and Samantha were regulars in our pre-dinner drinks party:
On return to my room to sleep I found that the staff had created a companion for me for the night:
Cruise Day 3 (Monday 26 Feb) At sea
As we were at sea there were two sessions of the Mark Steyn show. The 9.00am session on “The New Media” involved Andrew Lawton, and the Irish pairing Ann McElhinney and Phelim McAleer. After Mark had asked them questions about the demise of legacy media (which at one point prompted Ann to read out the extensive and often hilarious comments to an article in the New York Times about the use of ramekins in a particular recipe), Andrew was summarily dismissed off stage to allow Ann and Phelim to interview Mark about his trial. There were some amazing new insights including how shockingly biased the jury were.
You can see the full session (ramekins and all) here on Ann and Phelim’s Channel:
The afternoon session “The New Law” at 3.00pm involved only Michelle Bachmann (as Conrad Black, who was due to appear with Michelle had not yet arrived on board). This was a brilliant discussion (you can hear it all here) that focused a lot on the corruption of the US justice system and ended with a magnificent tribute by Michelle to Mark.
At dinner I was seated on Ann and Phelim’s table and we got to hear even more about ramekins, although (and this is quite something to anybody who knows her) one particular guest on the table managed to dominate the conversation to such an extent that even Ann could barely get a word in edgeways.
It was also interesting to note that, compared to last year’s cruise, a much greater proportion of guests were American, and unlike the Europeans who know Mark primarily from his more recent material on GB News, almost all the Americans got the covid jab. While these people were ‘awake’ on the various issues related to the globalists’ agenda, many were unaware of the safety and efficacy issues about the covid vaccines.
Yvonne and Lee were seated on Samantha Smith’s table so I joined them there later.
Cruise Day 4 (Tuesday 27 Feb) Ocha Rios, Jamaica
There was no session on this day so it was especially relaxing. But I have to say that the photos below show the closest I actually got to land because Yvonne and Lee went early and told of how they were harrassed by hawkers the minute they got to shore (the wooden heads shown in their picture on the right here were things they had been forced to pay $20 for!!):
Having decided not to go ashore I booked a 90-minute massage in the spa which was excellent and did not completely ruin me financially because I had learnt from the previous cruise not to agree to a ‘free extra’. Travel tip 11: If you are offered a free extra, like treatment to reduce wrinkles under your eyes then you will be aggressively talked into buying the creams they use, which turn out to be as expensive as the massage.
Booking the massage meant that I could also opt out early from the first major puzzle session directed by Leilani, who takes her puzzles very seriously and applies brutal rules (such as you are only allowed to look at the picture for about 10 seconds once every hour). Since I am colour blind and also have some kind of directional dyslexia that means I was essentially reduced to a useless observer.
The puzzle was eventually completed in just over 4 hours with help from numerous Steyners joining at different points. Ann McElhinney joined at one point and told me about a play they are producing (to run in New York) about the Oct 7 massacre. Ann and Phelim had travelled to Israel shortly after the massacre to talk to survivors and others.
Pre-dinner I met up with Ann Marchini (long-term campaigner against injustices of the legal system) and Karin Radicke (who was prominent in the ‘yellow cards’ anti-lockdown and anti-mandate movement) from the UK.
After dinner there was a sing-along in the Crow’s Nest with Tal Bachman.
Cruise Day 5 (Wed 28 Feb) Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands
Yvonne, Lee and I used our excursion credit to do a 2-hour tour of the Grand Cayman. I chose it because it was the shortest tour available and the ship was leaving at 3.00pm (which was also the time of the next Mark Steyn show).
With an early start I opted to have breakfast in bed which was excellent, albeit only a tiny subset of the breakfasts I would get in the buffet.
Because of the need again to get a tender boat I knew that the 4 hour tours would be cutting it fine. As it was, although we were scheduled to leave at 8:00, it was almost 9:00 before the tender left and we did not get back to the ship until almost 12:00.
It was a very interesting tour. We went to the Governer’s House and beach (I did not realise the Governer is ‘appointed’ by British Government every 4 years, so there is no democracy here), to “Hell” (a place with a remarkable rock formation), to a rum tasting, and finally to another beach.
The Mark Steyn show at 3.00pm featured Conrad Black (who had now joined the boat with his wife Barbara Amiel) and Samantha Smith in a session about ‘The New Monarchy’.
It was an interesting session in which Conrad presented a rather optimistic view about what was going to happen in the next year.
Pre and post dinner another major puzzle session took place under the direction of Leilani:
Cruise Day 6 (Thursday 29 Feb) Costa Maya, Mexico
I was sitting having breakfast when this enormous Royal Caribbean ship pulled up right beside us - it was like a scene from a scary movie as it seemed it would have to hit us. I took a quick video after it finally stopped.
You can also see the difference in size between the two ships in these photos after we left for Costa Maya:
Costa Maya was like a Disneyland representation of Mexico. Very loud and with every sterotype you can imagine. I didn’t stay very long, preferring to relax by the pool with another strawberry daquiri.
At dinner I was sat on Melissa Howe’s table along with Conrad Black’s very interesting set of friends and colleagues including Ron Louks and June de Souza.
After dinner I decided to confront two women who the UN, EU, WEF, British Government and Joe Biden now classify as part of a group they consider the greatest threat to society …
After that, in the Crow’s nest Leilani instigated a game of Rummikub, which eventually attracted a lot of people. Inevitably, Leilani won the first game, with the winning moment captured in perpetuity in this video:
Everyone seems confused in the next game…
Tal Bachman came along to serenade the Rummikubers Brandy and Wayne Edwards, Samantha Smith, Andrew Lawton, Renee Kohanski, Leilani Dowding and Jennifer Clark:
Mark Steyn, Melissa Howes and Conrad Black also joined the Rummikubers:
Cruise Day 7 (Friday 1 March)
Our little regular gang realised we had not yet used our credit of a meal in one of the posh restaurants, so we decided to use it for lunch at the Pinnacle Restaurant. It was a very good meal.
We finished lunch in time for the Mark Steyn show finale at 3:00pm. Here is Mark’s introduction:
The session started with quite a long Q&A session to allow full audience participation followed by music from Tal and Koko Bachmann.
Some final photos with Leilani and Jennifer
Although Jennifer missed the formal photo session with the speakers, she managed to get a photo with Mark showing the formal photo from the previous cruise in which she was holding the photo from the cruise before that …etc.
Departure (Sat 2 March)
Everybody has to leave the ship by 9:00am. As my ‘BA’ flight from Miami to Heathrow (which turned out to be operated by American Airlines) was not leaving until 7:40pm this meant I had almost a whole day to kill. Because of my obsessive neurosis about travelling whereby I assume everything that can go wrong will go wrong I had stupidly assumed that the 5:10pm flight to Heathrow (which Leilani and Samantha sensibly booked on) might be ‘cutting it too fine’. Fortunately, Ann Marchini, who was on the same flight as me, alerted me to the fact that there was an excursion from the ship which went to the Everglades and then dropped you at Miami airport in time for flights leaving after 4:00pm. As the excursion only cost $84 this was a very good deal bearing in mind the cost of a taxi from Fort Lauderdale to Miami. And it meant we could do a tour without worrying about our luggage which would be locked safely on the coach.
The coach left at 8:30am and was actually the first to arrive at Everglades national park, which also meant we did not have to queue for a boat.
We saw some interesting plant life and birds but apparently it was too early in the day for any of the big reptiles to appear. The boat trip only lasted about 25 minutes and we then went to the alligator show and reptile display. The show (also very short, about 20 minutes) was very impressive. The guy running it saves rogue alligators from being destroyed and basically tames them. This short video gives you a feel of it, but he also does a lot more like putting his head right inside the alligator’s mouth.
After the show we walked through the reptile enclosure and that was basically the end of the tour. It was still only 10:45.
The coach was supposed to then take us direct to Miami airport, but because only 6 of the passengers were going there (the others were going either back to the Port or to Fort Lauderdale airport) the tour guide decided the coach would in fact go to Miami airport last even though it was close to the Everglades. It was lucky we had so much time to kill otherwise this would have been really infuriating. In fact, the coach made multiple stops - different terminals at Fort Lauderdale, then back to the Port. At this point the tour guide decided she also wanted to be dropped off in Fort Lauderdale. But, before she was dropped off, she wanted to check that none of the remaining 6 passengers going on to Miami were Americans. Why? Because she wanted to tell us that
“if that bastard Trump is elected in November I’m moving to Panama”
It seems that Trump Derangement Syndrome is so intense that those who suffer it cannot conceive that others do not.
Anyway, we eventually arrived at Miami airport just after 1:00pm and remarkably managed to check in and clear security before Leilani and Samantha. Leilani said she was in a long queue, which was obviously different to the one we were in, but I assumed we would meet up the other side. I couldn’t believe how serious the security were in enforcing their ‘theatre’. First they demanded that everybody under the age of 75 had to remove their shoes and that everything had to be removed from our pockets and put in the box for screening. I left a plastic comb (which I had bought for £1.50 specially for the trip) in my pocket and had to go back and get it screened (the guy threw it in my box but I actually never saw it again). Then we had to go through the full body scanner machine fiasco. And they said that there was something suspicious showing up on me which meant they had to do a physical body search in which they rubbed up and down my groin. They refused my suggestion that it be done by a woman rather than a man.
By the time we sat down and bought a coffee, Leilani and Samantha had got through security and were ‘heading to meet us’. Except it turns out that British Airways flights go from a different terminal. So we never did get to reunite. And the flight was delayed because a crew member flying from Dallas had been delayed. Coupled with a further delay for maintenance, the plane eventually took off over 2 hours late meaning we had been waiting about 7 hours. The 2-hour delay also meant that almost all passengers with connecting flights in London missed them.
We finally arrived in Heathrow at 11.10am on Sunday but did not get our luggage until after 12:00. Luckily, we just got on an Elizabath Line train to Stratford (perfect for me) as it was leaving. There was still one unfortunatle twist for Ann because she needed to change for the Northern Line at Tottenham Court Road, but the line was suspended because of a passenger on the track. I arrived home just after 1:00pm and Ann eventually got home by 1:30pm.
Thank you for taking us along
Travel tip #8 for the win!
I am so glad to read (and watch) accounts of freedom fighters having fun. :)